Un-Wallowing

In case you couldn't tell, I recently needed to unwallow. So, my friend, PJ, went with the puppy and me on a little roadtrip. We intended to make it out to a friend's cottage, but got a little sidetracked. First on purpose, then by accident.

We first went to Dunvegan cause it was sort of on the way, and because I had heard it was beautiful (PJ confirmed this). It was so nice there, and the day was so perfect that I swore to go again soon! The pictures below are from there (all taken by PJ!).

Then, we attempted to find my friend's cottage (which for all you Ontarians, does

not mean the same thing here!). We got a little lost... well actually a lot lost. Somewhere in our roadtrip we saw a moose! That was a definite highlight for me. First wild moose. Eventually my friend managed to see us driving around aimlessly and called us to meet her at the main road and follow her in, lol.

The wandering was worth it. I had such a great time out in the wilderness. Just hanging out outdoors without the noises of the city. I also got to experience a truly albertan hobby. Quading. Yes friends, I learned to drive a quad this weekend. It was wicked. Turned out to be an awesome day. I'll definitely need some more adventures this summer :)

Aren't these pictures awesome! Who knew this was so close to home! Thanks PJ for helping me un-wallow :)

Fear

fooling ourselves

expecting greatness

expecting mediocrity?

wallowing in fear

chained by helplessness

self-induced helplessness

black future

scorned by past disappointments

no oxygen

no room to breath

enveloped by loneliness

caged

the lies that surround

Foolishness

Sometimes I do things I'm not proud of. I don't always know that I'm getting myself into these situations, but I know when it's over that it was a mistake. And often I feel like I'm all alone in searching for these things. Except, I'm not. We are all looking for the same things aren't we? Happiness. Joy. Satisfaction. Love. A greater purpose.

I feel like I fail at these things more than the average person.

People are the best and worst things that ever happen to me. I expect a lot out of myself. I expect myself to be held to my high standards and to honor my beliefs and to have my actions reflect that. I also hold others to these standards. Most usually do a better job than I do. Some fail miserably. And then when they fail I blame myself, like somehow I shouldn't have expected the best out of that person. Certainly I allow others to make mistakes - we wouldn't be human if we didn't. But some people make it a pattern, and I allow them to hurt me by expecting more.

I'm so grateful to many of the people I have in my life that are there for me to hangout, or have homemade pancakes, or eat junkfood, when I'm in a low. I feel like I have these friends and family all over Canada. To those friends, I'm sorry if I ever put you up to an unattainable standard.

Sometimes I do things I'm not proud of. Sorry to myself for failing to live up to those expections. Thank you to God for the grace that you've given me. You help me pick myself back up when things go wrong. You're love oh lord, reaches to the heavens. You're faithfulness, stretches to the sea.

Bull Riding Mayhem

Most people that know me are aware that I have a sense of adventure. This in turn leads to my love of roadtrips! The problem with having a real job is that you can't just take off a bunch of time and go on trips. I have to save my precious days for important things like weddings and birthdays. So I got to thinking, "where can I go near Grande Prairie that won't break the bank?" Then I found out about a Bull Riding event in Dawson Creek (yeah... its a real place)!! Fun is implied.

Next step was rounding up my friend J-Dawg, getting our plaid shirts on and heading out of the province. I was a super fun time. We ended up with totally awesome seats, and bull-riding experts near-by to provide explanations. If we didn't wanna ask we just looked it up on my iPhone, haha. There is a lot to learn about this Albertan rodeo culture! Many more lessons to come! Here's a few pics from the day - sorry there aren't any good bull ones; I was too focused on the people getting flipped around to take pictures!

Here I am leaving the province!

An uncontrolled bill and a full audience enjoying the fun!

A bull charging at the helper-guys (sorry I don't know the lingo, lol)

All the cowboys waiting for the fun to begin

J-Dawg and me in front of the giant beaver in Beaverlodge (yay, it's a real place). True story. Adventure complete.

Here's a video of one of the bull riders. I don't know if it'll work, but we'll give it a try! (He had to stay on for 8 seconds to get the points) This bull was pretty tame compared to the rest!

ps - unfortunately, I did not see Pacey there :(