Middle Steps

Here is what I know about life from my 24 years of inexperience: Life will throw you curve balls.

I find that I am constantly trying to map out my life. I start something new at work and immediately I'm imagining everything falling perfectly into place in record time. I start dating someone and immediately I'm getting attached and imagining our future. I think of a new hobby and immediately I picture myself as an expert.

Obviously these things don't work out or I would have the perfect job, be married, and be an amazing guitar player/baker/runner. The problem is that I miss all the middle steps. I'm so busy trying to make it to the finish line that I forget to enjoy the middle moments and embrace them. I feel like I'm one of those people who would miss my entire engagement because I was so focused on the wedding day.

How do we learn to live in the moment and enjoy?? (seriously, I'm asking! I sure don't know!).

I realized recently that if I keep living for the future instead of the now, I'm missing out. Especially since the future never quite turns out the way we plan it. Life throws us unexpected curve balls that we just were not prepared for. I'm trying to live in the present so that the curve balls aren't curve balls, there just natural changes of course. I think it's easier to take each day in a stride that way. Anyway, this is just a mumbo-jumbo of thoughts but it's been weighing on my mind a bit. Why am I so focused on the next step? I'm learning to live life again.

ps - I think this calls for a donald miller book (don't you think jenny?!)

Over-Achievers: Friend or Foe?

Starting a new job, especially a first job, can be very stressful! Not only am I starting a new job, but I'm following behind the footsteps of a Speech-Language Pathologist that I've heard described as "amazing", "sooo good", "the best", etc., etc. Obviously no one is saying this to make me feel uncomfortable, but how am I suppose to follow after those rave reviews!!

I've never been a huge fan of over-achievers to begin with, but I especially don't like them now! There's not a lot of room for creativity for most speech paths working with school-age children either - who knows how she got to the point where she was deemed "amazing". But the great thing about this job is that we have a TON of freedom to do or start whatever we want. Now, I'm using my new-found freedom to start things that I haven't done before, such as a fluency group for school-age boys that stutter (EEK!). The combination trying to prove myself and having the freedom to be flexible is apparently all the motivating I need to try something completely new, requiring days, evenings, and money to be sacrificed on my behalf to start up!

I feel pretty good about the idea, even if I hate the stress that comes along with it. Am I the over-achiever that I always hated? Maybe someone will be swearing when they take over from me too.... I guess I'd rather that than the alternative!